So exhausted

Angry red color....maybe this will spice me up.  I wish I could get really fired up, excited, sold out, passionate...etc... about anything.  Things feel so drab and mundane.  I want to be caught up and in love and desired by my hubby... I wish I looked forward to my days, to my son, to school....  but nothing.  I get no sex... shitty or otherwise most of the time.  I can't even inspire passion in myself or him by surprise BJs or staying clean cut, as it were.  I seem to be able to dredge up pissed off-ness for some things, but that's all I have in my reserve emotion tank.  I can get angry about some of our marital inequities like spending money, oral sex, household chores and the like.  But I don't have any energy for constructive things like giving him a massage, making a special dinner, washing the floors, going out to exercise or playing on the floor with my baby.  Everything feels like quicksand and I don't want or like anything.  I need a vacation so badly... from everything.  I need some excitement and appreciation of some kind.  Whatever, I don't have time to be doing this, so I get back to all my "have to's"